'main aur meri tanhaiye aksaar ye bate karte hain'!
This candid piece is like a repartee with my own thoughts. Life, as it surrounds me, often creates a doodle. Sometimes those tiny bits of art animate and start talking to me - The words start flowing into a sentence, and the sentences shout out as a story. I have always been fascinated by the power of storytelling, indeed.
As it comes into my mind, like a cascade, however, a pretty unembellished anecdote. Nothing but just like a forgotten piece of flower or some loose leaves left inside a long-lost old diary. Years after, thousands of miles away, while sitting on a lonely couch, in the middle of a Kojagori Lakshmi Puja night, I recall them. And the sepia-toned flashbacks are popping out in front of my eyes.
The Late October fall nights have their very own distinctive heavy smell. We call it 'Hemanta' or late autumn. The night becomes slightly foggy with a hint of chill. But the Orion (The Kalpurusha) shines bright like a diamond in the backdrop of a dark canopy. After dinner in the night, if you stand by the window or go to the backyard or on the terrace, you probably need the warmth of a comfy light shawl. Sometimes I close my eyes and try to take a deep breath. As I said before, the air has a very unique charm. It is mixed with a very light scent of Shiuli and a heavily intoxicated smell of Chhatim. This heavy smell in the air and the Orion in the sky always leaves a sense of Deja vu in me. I feel like an old soul, blissfully content. It kinda reminds me of my very own existence, me being alive, since forever.
Ages back, It was the day of the Kojagori. For the uninitiated, this is a religious festival (particularly in the Bengal) or a special prayer ceremony, celebrated in almost every Bengali household on a particular full moon day, just after the Durga Puja (Navaratri) is over. The typical time of the year is mid-late October-ish / November first week. Those were the most joyous times of the year. The usual 'festive' season. This was the time of that bygone era when there was no cell phone or internet to entertain us every now and then. I was in my middle school, enjoying my 'Puja' vacation. The rain seized, the exam was over, and the autumn had set her foot in. I was happy; however, the sheer joy was of no reason in particular.
My story is all about the Lakshmi Puja night. The daytime was over with all usual prep-work, followed by the equally busy evening 'show-time.' When it was all over at night, we suddenly got a power cut (typical on those days). The weather was pretty comfortable, so it was not bothering. The silvery-white moon was already up in the sky. Without the streetlights, the moonshine appeared to be even more beautiful and dreamy. After dinner with the simple Prasaad (offerings), it was still dark with no power when we called off the day.
In that night, I remember, I was sharing my room with my mom upstairs. There was a window kept open near to the feet. It was the late-night when I suddenly woke up, maybe in thirst for water or in need of going to the washroom. Still, there was no electricity.
While returning from the kitchen, I looked out through the window and was taken aback. All I saw was the moon, preparing for setting down. It was looking as big as the rising sun, however hued as glittery white just as the new silver coin. There was a dark tall tree standing adjacent in my sight, just to make the frame more picturesque. I stood by the window for a while, watching out like hypnotized. Although I did not know what I was looking for. The moon rays formed a foggy white canopy, busy whispering with the Fall air. Maybe the Universe was stopped for a while and was trying to talk to me. All I had were a series of realization.
According to Hindu mythology and tradition, the Goddess Lakshmi brings fortune and wealth to the worshipper. That night perhaps I realized the true meaning of this. This is the spiritual wealth (not the worldly one) that makes the inner self wealthy. So the Lakshmi-puja is all about seeking or appreciating the spiritual wealth, not the material one. The Goddess Lakshmi is also known as the 'Sree' - which means 'the beauty.' She is manifested through the universe's cosmic beauty - in the nitty-gritty details of the space-time fabric. So, the deity who personifies the definition of beauty (Sree) and gives away the wealth and luck is actually in the nature surrounding us. She makes one wealthy through the inner spiritual soul. The divinity is embedded in the universe without any shape. We gave a pretty face to her for our ease and kept her locked in the Puja room. But if the inner-soul is rich enough, one can find her everywhere.
Don't know how long I stood moved and captivated like that until I realized a teardrop rolled down. It was serene and supernatural at the same time. It was as if I was looking through the distant corner of the galaxy! It was as if the Goddess Lakshmi was showing off her divine face to me! It was such a strong and surreal sensation that I was emotionally drained. I was too high on Life!
* The picture is taken from my backyard (Mississippi, USA) on Kojagori 2020!
